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DVD : Star Wars - Episode I, The Phantom Menace (Widescreen Edition)

Rating: - I've discovered something revolutionary!
Hey, folks! I don't know about you, but I've realized something extraordinary! Yoda is a HERETIC! How is this possible, you may ask? Well, here's how. You see, in this highly-anticipated prequel, Quack-Gonn Jinn explains the force to Anakin Snobbwalker. He explains how the force is really just a bunch of microorganisms (similar to sweat) that live in your cells and boss you around. However, in Episode V, Yoda (who in Episode I looks like a monkey) claims that the force is something that surrounds every living thing (something like that). If Yoda is a heretic, that means he's bad. If he's bad, then why do you see him with the good jedi at the end of Episode VI? Meeesa have bad feelzing about this. Can you guess who meeesa is? Youssa right! Issa meeesa, I'mgonnahityouovertheheadwithajellyjar-jar-Bonks.

I am Qui-Gonn Jinn. I am a stone-faced, mature Jedi Master, yet I enjoy the presence of my friend Jar-Jar-Binks more than my audience.

Jar-Jar - Exqueese me! You saved my life! Meeesa your servant for life!

Qui-Gonn - Yes, Jar-Jar. If I were in my right mind, I would slash you with my lightsaber until I could see the individual atoms that you're made of. However, I'm never in my right mind, so I will bear with your company. What's more, I'll even take you with me, so that everyone aboard my ship will lose their minds when you crack fart jokes every five seconds.

Obi-Wan finally meets Jar-Jar. He would also slash him to pieces; however, that would mean he'd lose Jedi points, because destroying an unarmed creature is against the jedi rule. It's bad enough that Padme likes snobby, most-horrible-actor-in-the-world Anakin, but she likes Bonks. How is that possible? I think Jar-Jar is a Sith! How else could anyone like him, than by using Jedi mind tricks? How else could he not die, when thousands of battle droids are around him and none hear his ridiculous screams?

Finally, we see the villain of the movie! Darth Maul, who is not in it at all! What does he do in the movie? Except for some incredibly awesome lightsaber moves, he rolls his eyes! Probably an addiction he developed when going through the movie's storyline with Lucas.




Who is the hero of the movie?

JOHN WILLIAMS!!!!!!!

Rating: - Star Wars I
I think George Lucas has a wonderful imagination and not afraid to apply that imagination on screen. However, I find it hard to believe a boy that young (Anakin) could manuver a craft like that or for that matter, build one. None the less, I loved it and will watch it over again.

Rita

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Rating: - The best of the new
Of the 3 new episodes, this is by far the best one. It has a captivating storyline and never ceases to amaze with the fantastic CGI special effects at every angle. Many die-hard SW fans do not approve of all the CGI, but I believe that feeling goes hand in hand with the fact that they were around when the first SW came out, and that film was "theirs" so to speak and can never be duplicated. Something so magnificent as SW in 1977 must've captivated the mind and created such a frenzy that many opinions will be biased some 30 years later. I was not born yet when the first ones came out, but I'm a fan of all 6 and didn't really understand the SW buzz until I was able to watch the first 3 (newer ones) in succession followed by Episodes IV, V, and VI. Many fans have seen it the other way around, but I find the SW saga to still be enjoyable if you watch them in numerical order.

Of course, as a young buck myself, I will gladly say that Episodes I-III are great. A true treat to eye and a gem in fantasy/sci-fi land if you're in to that type of genre. Lucas could've not created anything better in my eyes. As I stated earlier, many old-school fans don't appreciate the new ones and that's completely understandable. For me and my generation, my Star Wars films were The Lord of the Rings trilogies. For me, I will go to my grave saying that LOTR was and is the best film of the genre. Hopefully they will make more as Tolkien wrote a lot, but I will not appreciate them as much as LOTR. That's just the way it is I guess.

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Rating: - Seen a LOT worse
The more overhyped, overrated movies like The Departed, Brokeback Mountain & Blood Diamond that I run across, the more respect I have for Lucas & these movies. Yes - even Episodes I & II. At its worst, Star Wars makes more sense, is more entertaining & has more heart & soul than the so-called `masterpieces'.

Sure, I have some quarrals with TPM: the pace could've used a bit of a jump start, following a structure like ANH had, and the Gungans seemed out of place in the SW Universe (though there were things I liked about them). And yeah, Jar Jar got on my nerves a little in places (mostly at the beginning) but his antics were funny in several others. I thought Anakin's beginnings made sense, though I think he should've been a little older & I loved the fact that he built 3PO. I loved the planet of Naboo & there is just something cool about the droid armies.

I was a little disappointed by the space battle & thought Lucas made a big mistake by killing off Darth Maul. I understand his reasoning but as much as I love Count Dooku & Lee's performance, Maul should've been the `Vader' of the prequals. I've gone through periods where I've loved TPM & periods where I've hated it. Now I've accepted it as the first part of the best movie saga ever made. Other directors should be so lucky.

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Rating: - I wish this movie had never been made. It's the terrible truth: Star Wars has jumped the shark.
This was a bad movie. Too much CGI, too much stiff acting, too much ridiculous stuff (Anakin almost accidentally destroying a federation trade ship), many unwelcome revelations about the force (the metachlorides), and featuring THE most annoying character in the star wars universe (yousa know who I mean).

Star Wars jumped the shark with this movie and it never truly recovered. Though I liked RoTS and thought AoTC was okay, I could not truly take them seriously like the original trilogy partly because this crappy movie sucked all credibility out of the franchise. This gets my vote for the WORST Star Wars movie ever made.

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